I still feel the Hype of this promising rhetoric, that has been sold to us by our “society” in the last decades-express your uniqueness, be yourself! Do not let others define your own desires.
But, for some reason, it seems to me that the more we push this story, the less “authentic” we become. Just take a look at the social media- everybody wants to look the same. Everybody wants to go to the same holiday destinations; wear the same clothes; live the same experiences as the ones posted by others; believe the same ideologies like the famous people and the movie stars. We are social animals after all. We like to belong to a herd. You might think you are showing your uniqueness- but the merely show of showing off means you are not unique. You follow the trends of the rest.
So, what happened with being unique? What made this Promise fail so badly, specially on current times where “the greater will is the common will” and the will you should follow?
Who failed you? Your parents? Your friends? Your government? Yourself?
It turns out, being unique is not easy. It is one the biggest challenges in life. The “be yourself” commercial seems more doable on a TV screen than in real life. You have after all, many people around you, which have their own expectations about you. You have to show up to work, be obedient to your parents. Obey all the rules. You have to be a nice and quiet citizen. You want to be special? Belong to the rest. If you stand out like a solo nail, there will be a hammer waiting to push you down.
It turns out, it was never the plan that you develop your uniqueness. Just look at every institution governing our lives: Schools are designed to do standardized education, standardized testing and thus form standardized brains. The health institutions develop universal remedies for all, claiming is “equally effective to everybody”, and if you don´t follow, you are anti-science, anti-medicine. Politicians give promises on reaching equality, and prosperity for all (the lie of the Millenia). Religion pushes you in believing just a certain story about the origins of life. Science seems to go in the same direction, when supports certain theories and suppress, hide and crush alternative stories.
It is not the plan, that you develop your own mind, make your own research and reach to your own conclusions- if- they do not fit with the status quo. People controlling the status quo want you not to believe in your own uniqueness- that makes them lose power.
So, has it all been a lie? Nobody cares about your uniqueness? That’s right, nobody does, and it’s not their job either. You have given this job and power away to others.
So, how to regain your uniqueness and stop lying to yourself?
- Speak the truth– Say really what you think and be honest about the state of things in your truth. Lies support the construction of status quos and fake realities.
- Be courageous– Do not let others silence you. Do not be afraid to say what is really in your heart. Do what you really want to do. Do not fall into the “I did it because everybody else is doing it”, or “I’m afraid of being ridiculed”- If you are not ready to speak courageously, you are not ready to be unique.
- Do not be afraid of being dangerous– People believe, especially in civilized, western societies lately- that being assertive and strong in character is being discriminatory, insulting or unpeaceful. Being assertive and demanding respect with a loud voice seems to be offensive and impertinent. But it is not. Our human survival depends on these traits. A dangerous person, is a person that demands self-respect and defends its sovereignty, its environment and the one of their loved ones. Be dangerous!
- Do not apologize for your happiness– If you feel authentically happy, show it to the world! Smile, act energetically, spread good energy and kindness. Do not let the victims let you fall on their own trap; the spiral of negativity, conformism and misery. Listen to your inner knowledge- the good old forgotten common sense. You are not insensitive, selfish or negationist of the world misery. You are a miracle and as part of this wonderful universe, just like the stars, just like the mountains and the ocean, you have the right and the responsibility to shine in your own light.
Only then, you will feel the glimpses of true freedom- the freedom of acting in tune with your own, unique Self.
2 Comments Add yours
Indeed the irony, a ‘double-bind’ to use Gregory Bateson’s term
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Precisely! Nowadays it feels more like a mausetrap…Greetings 🙂